Cara Tramontano’s comedy career started in the first grade as a loudmouthed New York Italian suddenly dropped onto a dusty playground in Tucson, Arizona. Now a creature of downtown San Francisco, her hobbies include tour guiding, coffee, and surviving the 30-Stockton. Cara’s comedic inspirations include Maria Bamford, Greg Proops, BART, and tourists. She produces Monday Happy Hour Comedy at Cafe Royale and performs all over the bay area thanks to ZipCar. Cara will embark on a national comedy tour as soon as ZipPlane launches.Tumblr (3.0; @thecara)http://www.thecara.com/<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv32a2FFnz1qzbwu1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://jayrosen.tumblr.com/post/13174138991/excerpt-from-uc-davis-2010-2012-general-catalog" target="_blank">jayrosen</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>Excerpt from UC Davis 2010-2012 General Catalog</strong></p> <p>Applied Biological Systems Technology (College of Agricultural and Environmental Science)</p> <p><strong>176. Introduction to Pepper Spray.</strong> (3) Lecture— 3 hours. <em>Prerequisite: Crowd Control Through Chemicals 122B.</em> Basic uses of pepper spray in threatening, semi-threatening and completely non-threatening and utterly peaceful situations. Common spraying techniques. Overview of rationalization methods. Color choices. Jackboot styles.</p> <p><strong>177. Advanced Pepper Spraying</strong>. (3) Lecture— 3 hours. <em>Prerequisite: Introduction to Pepper Spray 176</em>. Calculating optimum angles in spraying situations. Spraying seated vs. standing persons. History and development of chemical warfare against inconvenient demonstrations. Elements of CYA: basics and best practices. </p> <p><strong>178: Pepper Spray Practicum.</strong> (3). Laboratory— 3 hours. <em>Prerequisite: Advanced Pepper Spraying 177</em>. Working in teams, students locate sites where individuals are exercising so-called First Amendment rights and develop a strategy for spraying them. Emphasis on intimidation and staying calm under awesome hippie threat. Teams are held responsible for escaping responsibility and insulating higher-ups. </p> </blockquote>http://www.thecara.com/post/13176936700http://www.thecara.com/post/13176936700Tue, 22 Nov 2011 15:21:11 -0800Emptyage: Generation X Doesn't Want to Hear It: Generation X is beyond all that bullshit now. It...http://www.thecara.com/post/11622673108http://www.thecara.com/post/11622673108Tue, 18 Oct 2011 13:30:53 -0700<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt7r2hsiK51qav5oho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://markcoatney.com/post/11572510550" target="_blank">markcoatney</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>OK, this is pretty good. </p> </blockquote> <p>Spectacular actual cover of The New Yorker. Well done!</p>http://www.thecara.com/post/11573760723http://www.thecara.com/post/11573760723Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:22:51 -0700“90% of workplace conflicts can be resolved via department dance-off to the song...http://www.thecara.com/post/10739634880http://www.thecara.com/post/10739634880Tue, 27 Sep 2011 14:39:00 -0700When your right wing/tea party acquaintances blame Obama for the S&P downgrade, Obama’s...http://www.thecara.com/post/8568392118http://www.thecara.com/post/8568392118Sat, 06 Aug 2011 13:04:54 -0700<a href="http://sfist.com/2011/07/26/no_burning_man_for_you_unless_you_a.php">Burning Man procrastinators - you may have to find somewhere else to not shower this August.</a>http://www.thecara.com/post/8095832424http://www.thecara.com/post/8095832424Tue, 26 Jul 2011 12:32:52 -0700The 15 top Damn You Autocorrects of all time (NSFW): Wear waterproof mascara, because I am literally...http://www.thecara.com/post/7940554151http://www.thecara.com/post/7940554151Fri, 22 Jul 2011 13:45:59 -0700<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Rflt3iU8TmA?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>Where has this expert flirting advice been all of my life? Apparently stuck in a circa 1982 video.</p> <p>What are you gonna do about it, Melvin?</p>http://www.thecara.com/post/7937284968http://www.thecara.com/post/7937284968Fri, 22 Jul 2011 12:18:06 -0700“Chillax everyone - Casey Anthony will eventually go to prison when she tries to steal back...http://www.thecara.com/post/7283661524http://www.thecara.com/post/7283661524Tue, 05 Jul 2011 17:43:00 -0700<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oBzWzyslYK8?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>Muni Driver: the video game! Ah, those crazy Germans.</p> <p>“THEY MAKE IT UNNECESSARY HARD”</p> <p><a href="http://www.buscablecarsimulator.com/index.php?id=572&L=1" target="_blank">From the TML Studios website:</a></p> <p><span>Welcome to SAN FRANCISCO,</span></p> <p>…a major California metropolitan area on the West Coast of the United States. Send in your application for a job with the local public transportation system and take a seat behind the wheel of a motorbus, an articulated bus, a trolleybus, a cable car or would you prefer driving only streetcars? Altogether there are 16 highly sophisticated and animated vehicles available for you to maneuver through the vast game world waiting to be explored by you. Discover hundreds of typical streets with authentic inclines and slopes. Take up the challenges an employee of the local public transportation system faces every day and make use of the numerous functions available in the cockpit to comply precisely with the timetable, at the same time keeping a close look at the fuel gauge and your vehicle’s condition. Take on additional tasks to supplement your pocket money and earn yourself occasional rewards.</p>http://www.thecara.com/post/7227197366http://www.thecara.com/post/7227197366Mon, 04 Jul 2011 06:56:28 -0700“Who am I? I am living proof that there is no rest for the wicked.” - theCarahttp://www.thecara.com/post/6842666508http://www.thecara.com/post/6842666508Thu, 23 Jun 2011 15:51:51 -0700<iframe width="400" height="299" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UkBmhM0R2A0?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>I love how the question is, “Should evolution be taught in schools?” Because we should question *actual* science, instead of questioning the witchcraft and lore of so-called intelligent design.</p>http://www.thecara.com/post/6738395260http://www.thecara.com/post/6738395260Mon, 20 Jun 2011 16:46:46 -0700“I called yesterday - my cat bit me.”“Was it today?” “No,...http://www.thecara.com/post/6048855333http://www.thecara.com/post/6048855333Tue, 31 May 2011 14:59:06 -0700<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oDmkuBlEnUE?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><span>I thought eliminating Osama bin Laden would rid the world of evil for at least one day. Then Miley Cyrus performed Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”</span></p>http://www.thecara.com/post/5145629115http://www.thecara.com/post/5145629115Mon, 02 May 2011 16:52:58 -0700<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fUxXKfQkswE?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>The wonderful Weird Al Yankovic parody of “Born this Way” that was rejected by Lady Gaga. If you like it, spread the word and donate some $ and good vibes to <a href="http://www.hrc.org/" target="_blank">Human Rights Campaign</a>.</p>http://www.thecara.com/post/4784451375http://www.thecara.com/post/4784451375Wed, 20 Apr 2011 13:29:45 -0700“If global warming is God hugging us closer, San Francisco just had a God shakes the baby 3.8...http://www.thecara.com/post/4739358212http://www.thecara.com/post/4739358212Mon, 18 Apr 2011 21:27:00 -0700<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/5037736" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe><br/><br/><p>From Simon Christen, the amazing Oakland photographer who created the famous “<a title="The Unseen Sea" target="_blank" href="http://vimeo.com/15069551">Unseen Sea</a>.” Breathtaking.</p>http://www.thecara.com/post/4739308910http://www.thecara.com/post/4739308910Mon, 18 Apr 2011 21:25:36 -0700<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2a3fIoXa1qav6fbo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><em>Heeeeeere hipster hipster hipster…</em></p> <p>Thanks <a href="http://www.missionmission.org" target="_blank">MissionMission</a>! NYC is officially more progressive - we do need some of these hipster traps in San Francisco.</p> <p><a href="http://www.missionmission.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/hipster-trap-560x795.jpg" target="_blank">http://www.missionmission.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/hipster-trap-560x795.jpg</a></p>http://www.thecara.com/post/3859009517http://www.thecara.com/post/3859009517Mon, 14 Mar 2011 11:59:00 -0700“I stumbled forward. So do I get my hour back tomorrow morning? Or did I donate it to tsunami...http://www.thecara.com/post/3834293787http://www.thecara.com/post/3834293787Sun, 13 Mar 2011 10:26:28 -0700“Make funny, not war.” - theCarahttp://www.thecara.com/post/3767226824http://www.thecara.com/post/3767226824Thu, 10 Mar 2011 11:10:33 -0800